Truth of the matter is, I’d already miscarried by the time I’d made it to my termination appointment up in Frankfurt, Germany. You see, because I was a military dependent of an active duty Marine, stationed in the European command theatre, the department of defense medical system was not authorized, nor were they willing to allow me to abort my baby.
Thankfully, the Germans had no stigma toward terminating an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy of a minor, at least that I could detect. Of course, I was pretty oblivious, speaking only “restaurant/tourist” German, but it’s not like in the US, where there are tinfoil hat wearing protesters harassing Planned Parenthood patients. Every. Day.
No, in Frankfurt, my mother shuttled me the two and half hours north on the autobahn to an outpatient facility that would perform an abortion on an American, underaged girl. My mother spoke excellent German, but I’m sure these interactions, these conversations were testing her limits of comprehension. It was September 23, 1987. These medical pros were better than any Navy doctor I’d ever seen, although, today as I write this I am not certain how I know that or what makes me say so. Maybe being talked about in another language, by doctors, I guess allows an acquiescence of sorts, I knew I was being taken care of. Being let off the hook, really.
After the abortion was performed, the doctor came to my bedside and explained that they hadn’t gathered “enough” for the number of weeks that I was carrying. I believe I was 8 or maybe 9 weeks along already, but still under the 12 week limit. I tried to explain to him that we thought I’d had a miscarriage two weeks ago, lots and lots of heavy bleeding, but the Navy doctors examined me and said, Nope, you’re still pregnant.
Now that the US Supreme Court overturned Roe V. Wade, many States are experiencing this politicization of a very personal health decision. I’ve just discovered this Substack, by Jessica Valenti, which offers a “comprehensive daily newsletter dedicated to abortion rights, and the feminist community that supports it.” She’s an amazing resource and an experienced journalist and author of 8 books, helping to bring all the contextualized misogynistic laws into full view.
I am lucky enough to have a feminist for a mother, who helped me through my crisis 38 years ago. I was lucky enough to live in a country (Germany!) that didn’t politicize healthcare, they simply took care of me, and honored my choice. It’s hard to believe that America has not only overturned this landmark ruling from 1973, but that there are still so many States and healthcare providers fighting to control our wombs.
(Also, in reference to the featured photo – this is a phrase I’ve seen on signs/t-shirts and at women’s marches. Somehow, I don’t think that a penis actually enters a woman’s uterus during sex, but it’s not like Republican Politicians or Pro-Lifers know that! I selected it off a “sticker” site because of the profanity.)