This is hard for me, because I come from a very fast moving, quick-learning family. If you didn’t get it the first time, let me show you twice, but if the third time isn’t the charm? You’re not a natural at this, and you must be a complete and utter idiot.

As a result, I know a little bit about a lot of things, and I move on to what isn’t frustrating me with expedience. Asking for help feels like pure failure a lot of the time, even when I know it’s the wise move.

What I can say is that I’ve learned to ask for help “in time”, before I’m in crisis.

youngchrisgirl

There have been two distinct times in my adult life when I actively reached out for psychological help, from professionals in the field. Neither time was easy and both instances only further entrench my beliefs about how completely wrong our healthcare system is, here in America.

Recently a friend of mine who wears her anxiety very visibly in multiple ways, finally asked me if I could refer her to my shrink. She’s decided maybe she could use some help managing these anxieties, especially now in the time of COVID. I recognize what a huge milestone that is, to just realize you could use some help. Whether or not I am able to help her get any, is a whole ‘nother question.

We started with asking my shrink if she could refer anyone who is taking new clients. It took a week or so to get an answer: Um no, not really. Good thing my friend wasn’t “in crisis.” Then we got a list of folks who are in network on my friend’s Aetna plan, and we shared that one with my shrink, to see if she recognized any names. Bingo! She did. I passed along the information to my friend, and that was that.

Have I followed up? Is she taking new clients? Can they see each other over zoom? It’s hard to know how much help to offer, especially when I know how sensitive I am about asking for, and accepting help.