For many years long ago, I was close personal friends with someone who’d been in psychotherapy since she was at least twelve. She suffered from depression and general anxiety (I think?) and was also prescribed medications, which she took religiously. I loved asking said friend for psychiatric advice, and, at the time, she loved to give it.
In recent years, I’ve found my own psychiatric advice in the form of a shrink whom sees me once or twice a week. We practice psychodynamic psychotherapy, and that is to say, we talk about whatever I want to talk about. What I find becoming more common than ever, is this shrink-in-a-box or teledoc phenomenon that is, of course, ushered in by the digital age in which we live. Thankfully, my shrink and I meet via doxy, a telemedicine zoom-like portal, but that is only because of the COVID. I used to bike to her office in the city twice a week so we could see each other in person, which – for both of us I think – was key in getting to know her.
For those who haven’t developed a 1×1 relationship, either in person or online with a therapist or counselor, the wonders of the internet offer all kinds of other help at our fingertips. Online Forums have long been comforting places for people to be able to share experiences, anonymously. For some, this is anonymity is crucial to their healing process, while for others, sharing – out in the relative open of an online forum – is caring. Knowing they’re not alone in suffering, seeing and learning how others cope, connecting with strangers over this condition…it can become quite a thing.
I’ve recently discovered that drug companies are hip to the trip on how user generated, authentic, peer to peer content is money, and I’ve noticed more players are entering this peer-to-peer pseudo-medical-market. While I am always glad to see a real consumer need being met, I worry that this may not be good news to the mental healthcare consumer, frankly.
First off, I don’t trust the industry to self-regulate, and I know for sure the special vulnerability I have when seeking….anything, really, but especially when seeking help with my mental or physical state. It’s worse than tryna vett an auto-shop or car mechanic when you know nothing about the car you’re driving, or the way it’s supposed to run. There’s a sucker born every minute in America, and we’re proudly able to meet your need!
Secondly, knowing what I know now about finding a therapist and trusting the help you’re getting, I can only say that the onus is on us. What I mean is, if these forums aren’t carefully moderated, with clear rules and policies in place about what is allowed or tolerated and what is encouraged as demonstrated by it’s most active users, then the forums could seemingly become, let’s say – a major liability for the platform owners. My therapist was only one of fifteen who returned my voicemail when I was seeking therapy during a time of crisis. Maybe the other fourteen weren’t taking new clients, or maybe the tone of my voicemail message put them off. (highly likely, because I was so, so angry at the time…) Four and half years into my relationship with her, I thank the heavens everyday that she isn’t a total quack, but, she coulda been. The folks giving advice on a peer to peer forum are only loosely moderated to be reminded, hey – go call on a real doctor if you actually need medical advice; this forum is for sharing your experiences about that medical advice with one another. The line is thin, but it is there.
So had I been asked to share my experiences back then on a peer-to-peer forum about a diagnosis I didn’t necessarily agree with, who knows how I might have felt. I likely would have been in good company, but I wonder – is anyone there really well enough to be helping each other? Aren’t we all just feeding each other’s fears and insecurities with our own empathetic examples of similar situations? Is that part of the healing and recovery? I guess it depends on the diagnosis.
Of course, I wonder how the drug companies are using all that data, because I’m certain it helps to sell us more drugs. And for those that need them, I am grateful they exist. If there is a pill to cure/mitigate or prevent this or that, I’ll take it, thank you, because that is the better living through chemistry promise that our $1170 Billion Pharmaceutical industry manifests.
When I recently saw my long lost friend who used to proffer vicarious psychiatric advice, it seemed she was as well adjusted as ever. Each of us having grown in different ways since our last reunion, I was comforted by the fact that I’d learned to get my own advice, and she’d since learned to keep hers to herself. Funny how adulthood correction – middle-age, does that to you, and our friendship is no worse for the wear. Like the song says, I get by with a little help from my friends. I just hope the drug companies don’t exploit us as a byproduct of their greed, in the name of research and development.